I was reading online the other day
and the question posed was "To Spank or Not to Spank?"
You can imagine that this was a heated discussion,
with most people falling vehemently on one side or the other
and defending their position with gusto.
As most kids of our generation were,
Rob and I were both spanked as kids.
Their was the traditional bare-ass-and-over-the-knee humiliation spanks,
the chase-you-with-a-wooden-spoon spanks,
the this-hurts-me-more-than-it-hurts-you spanks
(oh, please, really? wanna bet?).
Let's not forget the fear-inducing
That was the norm then, of course,
and I would wager to say that that generation of kids
were somewhat more respectful of authority and their parents
than the current generation of "time out" and "let's discuss it" generation.
It may not have been respect earned as much as respect through fear,
but there you have it.
Anyway, this got me thinking about my own rearing of my children.
I was not a big spanker of my kids for several reasons.
First, I wasn't sure of the logic and power trip of using physical force against someone so much smaller.
Second, Rob was NOT willing to spank his daughter and I sure didn't want to be the only one throwing down the hammer.
Third, I know the kind of temper I have and I was truly fearful that if angry enough I could cross the line from discipline to being abusive.
Fourth, at some point they get too big and then what?
However, I was not above a couple of solid swats for each of them in their young lives.
Kate got spanked a very few times, Chris also a very few.
Trey got spanked a few times as well and unfortunately, more often in anger
than the other two. He was the master of button pushing. Even so, I'd say for him it was eight times or less and for the older two, fewer than five each.
BUT, I was curious to get their take on spanking so I asked Trey in the kitchen the other day
how often he believed he got spanked.
"Oh, ALL THE TIME" he said.
"WHAT?!" I gasped.
Surely he was joking.
I mean, *I* was spanked all the time as a kid
and I had hardly ever spanked him!
"Oh, definitely!" he said with pure confidence, "At least fifteen times!"
"No WAY!" I responded vehemently. "Are you KIDDING? I hardly EVER spanked you!"
We argued this for a bit and agreed that when Chris came in,
we would ask him how often he thought Trey had been spanked.
Since Chris (and Kate) seem to believe Trey always gets off scot-free with murder,
I suspected he would call a number even lower than five.
When Chris sauntered in, I silenced Trey with a swift glance
and started my inquisition.
"So, Chris, I have a question for you..
How often do you think you were spanked as a child?"
Chris blinked and considered the question,
then slowly responded.
"Um, I don't know.. about fifteen times?"
I shrieked in protest as Trey crowed in victory.
"WHAT?!" I yelled. "Are you KIDDING ME?"
Chris looked around confused as Trey continued to dance in victory.
As I looked around me, I realized that I was now living the life my parents live-
that what my children will recollect of their childhoods
MAY OR MAY NOT BE WHAT ACTUALLY OCCURRED!
When I, as an adult, told my Dad that I remember him spanking us ALL THE TIME,
he was shocked.
"Not at all!" he protested, "It wasn't that way at all!"
Dad, I didn't believe you then, but I sure as heck believe you now!