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Monday, February 28, 2011

The Things I Say

As a parent, we find ourselves talking a great deal of the time,
especially to the younger set.
Or, as I am discovering, to boys in general, no matter the age.
It appears, that like many of the grown up versions of boys,
there are some things they simply can't remember, regardless of their age.

Here's a small sampling of things that I have found myself saying,
sometimes almost daily, it seems..

I can't hear you from there.. come in to this room.
I still can't hear you.

Are you ready to go?
You are? Did you brush your teeth?
Go brush your teeth.
Your teeth look yellow. Go brush them again.
Your teeth look ORANGE! Go brush your teeth again.
Did you brush your hair? Why not?
If you lose your hair as an adult, you'll be happy then.
Go brush it again.

Did you change your underwear?
Go change it.

Dirty clothes go in the hamper, not on the floor.
This is still folded. It is not dirty. Go put it away.
Not there. THERE.


Don't speak to me in that tone of voice.
What tone? THAT tone.
Don't look at me like that, young man.

No, we don't pee there. Pee goes in the toilet.
How can you miss a toilet hole that big? Clean it up.

It's in the pantry. Yes, we do, it's on the second shelf.
On the RIGHT.

Get off your brother.
Get off your sister.
If you wrestle, just know that someone's going to get hurt.
Is there blood? No? Then as you were.

Stop. Stop it. STOP IT!
I'm going to kick you to next Tuesday.
Stop whining.
Do you want some cheese to go with that whine?
I don't speak Whinese.

Say you're sorry to your brother.
No, like you mean it.

I love you too.
You are the best boy in the whole world.
I'm lucky to be your mom.


dkuroiwa said... pretty much got them all...especially the ones dealing with pee...what IS IT ABOUT THE DAMN TOILET ANYWAY?!?!?!

my favorite, most common one might actually be: "why? because the words 'come in here right now' came out of my mouth".
("come in here" can be replaced with anything i ever ask them to do.)

Linda said...

EXACTLY!!! I thought that I was the only one repeating these same words every day for the last 8 years!! Thank goodness, I am not alone!!

Gina said...

Hahahahaha! I thought I was the only one with orange teeth children! What the heck? How can they brush and still look like that?

Anyway... as you already know I'm sure, a lot of those problems do go away as they get older. I haven't had to complain about pee for years now (mostly because I refuse to clean the kids bathroom anymore) and braces seemed to solve a lot of the teeth issues. I do stil find myself saying constantly "It's time to get up." "Your alarm has been going off for an hour." "You are going to be late." "Hey! Get out of bed!" "Are you ready yet?" Etc, etc, ad nauseum... The other thing I say all the time is "Where did you look for it?" and the ever popular "Huh?"

Purple's Mom said...

Awesome post! I will have to take inventory here and make a list of my own--b/c I definitely know that I repeat myself!

On a side note, I can remember when I was a kid my mom would get so frustrated with me b/c--though I was being a good little helper--I was constantly folding the towels incorrectly! "In THIRDS!" she would say, exasperated! "Fold them in THIRDS!" Problem is, at the time, I honestly had NO IDEA what "thirds" meant...and I didn't want to admit it! Hahaha! So sometimes, the simplest instructions are not so simple! ;-)

jen@odbt said...

Love it. I found myself nodding oh my gosh I'm not the only one who says this :) I feel like I should just put myself on repeat b/c I say these things all the time, more than once.

Natalie said...

Computer meltdown, this may be a duplicate message, but I'm wondering if you have a spy in my house???? You've just written a precise transcript of our daily life. The teeth! The teeth! How do you not see the stuff on your teeth?!?!?!?

Natalie said...

And I have to come on here again to talk about men of all ages not being able to find anything on their own. Once my husband was STANDING ON the item he was looking for. STANDING ON IT!!! Gahhhhh. Lesbianism. I'm starting to understand it...

Melissa said...


I find myself saying,"Shut my door please.'' And then, "No, with you on the OTHER side!"

Swistle said...

Yes, yessssssssssssss.