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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Like Riding a Bike

So, writing a blog is like any form of creativity 
and self-discipline.
When you fall off the wagon and don't write for a few days,
it is hard to know how to start.
And then you work your way up to a writer's block
and then you are just stuck.

Hopefully, getting back on won't be too difficult.

As some of my Facebook buddies know,
I was in quite a funk for the past couple of weeks.
Like everyone else, I have been stressed
by the current state of the economy
and fighting the panic and worry that is prevalent
in the news these days.

In addition to that, I have had some concerns
weighing on me regarding a couple of my kids
and that has been my downfall.

In so many areas of my life, I am a corner-cutter.
I have no desire to be perfect and don't impose a lot of stress on myself.
When it comes to my parenting, however, 
I tend to lose perspective and am terribly hard on myself.
I can't bear the thought of making a mistake 
and doing something that would inadvertently hurt one of my children.

How I wish there were a crystal ball
that I could look into
or some prophet who could tell me which decisions 
are the better ones to make.

Of course, no such thing exists.
We all just do the best we can 
and hope that our best is enough.
We pray that our kids will know that the choices and decisions we made for them
were the best we knew to do at the time
and then we struggle to let it all go.

I've been listening to a Steven Curtis Chapman song this week
and trying hard to take on this perspective:
(Lyrics below)

Steven Curtis Chapman - Miracle Of The Moment
From the album This Moment

It’s time for letting go 
All of our if only’s 
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine 
And even if we did 
Would we really want to use it? 
Would we really want to go change everything? 
‘Cause we are who and where and what we are for now 
And this is the only moment we can do anything about 

So breathe it in and breathe it out 
Listen to your heartbeat 
There’s a wonder in the here and now 
It’s right there in front of you 
And I don’t want you to miss 
The miracle of the moment 

There’s only one who knows 
What’s really out there waiting 
In all the moments yet to be 
And all we need to know 
Is He’s out there waiting 
To Him the future’s history 
And He has given us a treasure called right now 
And this is the only moment we can do anything about 
And if it brings you tears 

Then taste them as they fall 
And let them soften your heart 
And if it brings you laughter 
Then throw your head back 
And let it go, let it go 
You gotta let it go 
Listen to your heartbeat


Jen said...

Sending a big hug to you. I think you are a fantastic mother and what you wrote is so true. We are doing the best we can. Hang in there. This too will pass.

Ginaagain said...

Making decisions is such a tricky thing... sometimes we think we know what's best but half way in we suddenly panic and think we've made a huge mistake. You really can't know what the best choice is when it comes to parenting. You just have to commit and dedicate yourself to making it the best choice for them.

Wow, that was vague... I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what your children face they have the ability to make it a postitive experience. You have taught them well and they have intelligence and resilience. Most importantly they have a completely dedicated and involved mother to help them turn any situation into a good one.

As for writers block.. it's usually temporary. I'm fighting it myself. I let a huge opportunity to reach new readers just slip by this week. Let's just blame it on March and hope that April will bring us lots to blog about.

Hugs to you Leeann! I wish I was closer and could give you a real live hug.

CarolinaMomOf5 said...

Wow. For someone with writer's block, that was an awesome post! I also want to chime in that you are a great mom. You are sensitive to your kids' needs, each of them, and how different they all are. I think you are the kind of mom that they will be comfortable discussing anything with. They will ask your opinion and value it. And that is truly the mark of a great parent. Even if some decisions you make may not turn out to be the best (hindsight is 20/20 we all know!), if your kids come to you with problems or for advice, it shows they respect the decisions you have already made for them and value your widsom. I really think it will be that way with your kids when they are teens and when they are adults. I love how you keep communication with them very honest and open. And I love Steven Curtis Chapman, too! Thanks for posting the lyrics to that song!

Hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

Whatever it is, you will get through it and make the best decisions you can.Your children will love you because you did the best you knew how in each situation. That's all anyone can do. We are only human. Remember Jacob and F.R.O.G.? Enough said.
Thinking of you and praying for you and family.