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Saturday, July 14, 2007

A Frat Boy in the Making


I always thought that
when considering the theory
of nature vs. nurture,
frat boys surely fell into the nurture category.

I mean, they can't have been BORN
crushing beer cans on their heads
and burping the National Anthem.

Then I had my third child
and my opinion has done a rapid 180.

I am here to inform you,
ladies and gentlemen,
to be very, VERY afraid.

Frats boys, at least some of them,
are indeed born that way.

It happened to me
and it could happen to YOU, too.

Case in point:

When Trey was about one and a half,
I was changing his diaper.
He was standing up
(we experienced moms can do this, you know!)
and I was chatting away to him.

Suddenly, he thrusts his hips forward
and shouts:

TALK TO MY PE^IS!

Um....Yuck.
I don't want to talk to your little
splash of a pe^is so get it out of my face!

He was totally serious though.

The child loves his package.
We have had to pull out our strongest
parenting arsenal to try to stop him
from pulling it out at his brother and sister.

What was funny or at least reasonably acceptable
at three will get him suspended from kindergarten.

His last offense caused him to be get his first ever
swat with a wooden spoon.
He was chasing his sister with his pe^is.

And just in case you ever want to know
what a frat boy in the making looks like
when they sleep,
I offer up a picture from our trip to Dutch Wonderland:

my son, sleeping in a wife beater,
exposing a nipple and
God knows where the other hand was. lol




So, consider yourselves forewarned.
We are trying to change his ways
but I swear, the Nature theory is looking
pretty darn strong right about now.

2 comments:

MOM said...

I have a story on this subject too about Trey.
On one trip he kept pulling out his penis for me to "see" and I kept telling him to put it in his jammies. Of course he didn't want to hear that! So finally I said, "You know Trey, I was married a long time, I changed Uncle Richard's diapers until he was 3 1/2 years old and I've seen plenty of penises. Yours doesn't look any different from anyone else's and I'm tired of seeing it. Since yours is nothing special, I want you to put it away." With a surprised look, he tucked it in and I never saw it the remainder of the trip. Leave it to Grandmother's to come up with at least a temporary solution.
Love,
MOM

Splaneyo said...

This is the funniest post I have ever read! I think it is so funny because we have been there and had a similar reaction. I read it to my husband last night and we both could not stop laughing (with you of course). Ahhh - if there was only some kind of training for this type of thing.

Heather