Potty Talk

Trey is of the age
where potty talk and all things
regarding elimination and bodily functions
are the center of his existence.

Some of us never quite outgrow this stage
but I digress.

Anyway, two things happened this week
that bring this phase into clear focus.

First, his preschool teacher pulled me aside
when I picked him up on Friday
with a mysterious
" I need to speak with you."

I have never had this said to me before
by any of my kids' teachers
but I instinctively knew
it wasn't good.

Sure enough,
our resident artiste
had drawn a picture at school.

He loves to draw,
so this was not a big surprise.

However,
his drawing was.

He had drawn a man
with a penis,
that was peeing
(artfully illustrated with little yellow dashes
falling downward)

This man had a butt on his side
(after all, it is hard to draw the back
on a figure facing forward, right?)

and this butt was shooting out
a brick shaped brown poo
at what appeared to be
the speed of sound.

Not to be outdone,
this man had
man-boobs
(in this house referred to as Moobs)
which were in dire need of a Bro
(needless to say, the man version
of a bra)

It was
for all intensive purposes,
a giant
hermaphrodite.

Lovely.

That boy makes me so proud.

Then, tonight,
I was tucking him in....

After turning on his music
and turning down the light,
he informs me that
he farted.

I ask him if he needs to go to the bathroom.
He said he didn't know.

I told him sometimes
when people fart,
it is telling them
they have to go poop.

He said
"Well, mom,
I don't know.
After all,
I don't know fart-speak!"

LOL!

I guess it is hard to know what a fart is telling you
when you don't speak the language.

Silly kid
silly phase
that will soon pass
with the exception of that little part
in all of us
that still finds stuff like this
enormously funny.