Just Like That

I got word yesterday through Facebook that an acquaintance of mine had died over the weekend.

Tom was someone I had known from my youth group at church. To be completely frank, I don't remember a lot about him from that time period, just that he was a nice person. We didn't really hang out much.

Tom contacted me as an adult on FB a couple of years ago. Over time I came to recognize him as an exceedingly kind and gentle soul. He wasn't married, nor did he have children, but he had dogs that he trained for agility and he loved them as his Fur Kids.

I've been processing the notion of his passing. I had a classmate also pass away a couple of years ago, but she had been fighting an illness, so while it was still shocking, it was somehow also vaguely expected. But this, a sudden massive heart attack, with no warning, has really been weighing on me.

How is it that we exist on this earth and then just POOF, game over, just like that? No goodbyes, no finishing the bucket list, no making an arrangement for your beloved Fur Kids.

Over the past month, I've applied a renewed focus to my health. I've been working to lose weight, yes, but also to build strength and endurance. I've seen the changes already, both in my physical shape and in my mental well being. My motivation is the trip I am taking this summer with the boys, but also, perhaps even more so, for my own self, for my own health.

As my kids are aging out of their school years and into their own lives and futures, my attention has turned to what I want to do. There are so many places I want to go, so many things to try, and taste, and see. The urge to explore and travel has by necessity been somewhat dormant, but I feel it rising in my chest, ready to break free.

I want to make sure that I can get out there and do everything.
I so wish Tom had had that chance too.