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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Six Years

Six years.

Very nearly half of Trey's life.

That's how long this blog has been in existence.

I don't write on it like I used to; in fact, there are times when a month or two will go by with nary a word from me.

When my children were very young, they were the perfect fodder for blogs. Kids are funny little creatures! And as they grew, I enjoyed exploring the process of parenting through writing- it allowed me to step back and view my world and emotions from a different vantage point from the day to day.

The kids "back then" with their Great Grandmother.

As they got older still, it became complicated. I didn't want to write about the struggles of a teenager, from my perspective or theirs, because it feels far to personal and invasive. And once Trey was off to school full time, there was just less material. I find this to be true of many "Mom Bloggers."

Interestingly, my two older kids will come to me, to either request I write, or tell me their thoughts on something I wrote recently, or to tell me that "when (they're) bored, they like to read back through the blog. It's like a walk down memory lane."

And there's the gift of it, I suppose. Just as photographs from our youth, when shown enough along with the accompanying story become as real as an actual memory, so have the stories in this blog become living, breathing memories of my children's childhood.

I hope throughout the years they continue to find comfort here, laughter and occasionally tears.
Perhaps they'll find insight into who their mother is, in a way that they cannot understand now.
Most of all, I hope that what they "hear" when they read is the never-ending heartbeat of love and care and worry in these words, that they have always been and always will be loved and treasured.

The kids now (Chris, Lauren, Kate, Caroline, Johnny, Trey and James.)

Rob and I went out to dinner and to a musical at the Hippodrome last night.
As we were driving to the show, we were discussing the kids (we can't help it!) and what they have gotten from us, for ill or for good (usually some combination therein.)

We were saying how Kate has some of Rob's firstborn, intense, driven traits and how they affect them both, while Trey has been cursed (or blessed) with the youngest child's insatiable need to be as annoying as possible. (Now I remember! This came about because I kept reaching over and shifting the car into Neutral as Rob was driving, just to piss him off. Yeah, I know!)

"What about Chris? Whose traits did he get?" Rob mused aloud.
"Chris? He's Manna from Heaven, just raining down!" I answered laughing.

The five month old Baby Benny and I are finally hitting a groove. Thank God!
We've got the naps down, the feeding down, and for the first time he and I ended the day in the clothes we started out in instead of many changes!
It's sort of ridiculous how victorious I feel. My, how the mighty have fallen!

It will be even more of a victory when I can get out of the freaking house.  ;)

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