Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Smoking is Awesome! and So is Drinking! (Things not to teach your kids)
Trey: "Hey Mom! Didn't people used to smoke a lot more than they do now?"
Me: "Yes, I guess so. People didn't know it was bad for them back then."
Trey pauses, considering this.
Me: "Did you know that even your Mimi used to smoke? And back then, women even smoked when they were pregnant!"
Trey, aghast: "Did Mimi smoke when she was pregnant with you?"
Me: "No, I don't think so."
Trey: "When she was pregnant with Uncle Richard?"
Me: "I don't know. Maybe at first."
Trey, excitedly: "Maybe that's what made Uncle Richard so awesome!"
Trey: "Hey Mom, did you ever throw up at a party?"
Me, puzzled: "No, I don't think so. I don't remember doing that."
Trey: "Not even when you were drunk in college?"
Me: "Oh, um, well, yes I suppose I did, then."
Trey: "Weren't you EMBARRASSED?"
Me: "Well, probably not at the time but certainly the next day I was..."
Trey: "How did it feel? Did things SPIN?"
Me, grasping an opportunity: "Oh yeah. It is the WORST. You feel SO SICK and it's like when you ride those teacup rides and someone is spinning it really fast and you know you are going to puke and you want to get off but you CAN'T because where ever you go you are still SPINNING and you can't get away from it because it is YOURSELF."
Trey, mind clearly boggled, considers this.
Me: "LOOK, A SQUIRREL!"