Yesterday, I read a status post on Facebook from a friend of mine.
She was having one of those horrible mornings in which everything was going wrong- one kid had been throwing up all night, including on the carpet. The other kid spilled his Cheerios on the floor, followed by a glass of ice water. He was losing it, she was losing it. She said, "I just want to go back to bed!" As soon as I read that, it sparked a forgotten memory of a certain blond haired little boy...
When Chris was little, Rob and I did not yet know the perfectionistic streak he was harboring. After all, how much of a perfectionist can you be when your world revolves around Rescue Heroes and Play-Doh? We were lulled by his sunny disposition, completely unaware of the tide rising beneath the surface.
Looking back, I can see one giant red flag, waving mightily. We failed to see its implications at the time.
This precious little boy would come downstairs in the morning, ready to start the day.
On rare occasions, the morning would not go as planned. Something would go wrong, whether it be a spilled bowl of cereal, or a fight with his older sister or whatever. Chris would get in trouble.
He would look at me, his bright blue eyes brimming with tears, lower lip out and chin trembling.
"I am going to go upstairs. I not awake yet. I come down and it's a good morning," he would say firmly and he would march his footie-pajama'd self up those stairs, go into his room, and shut the door.
A minute or two would pass, and then I would hear his door open. He would come hopping down the stairs, a bright smile pasted on his face.
"GOOD MORNING, MOMMY!" he would say in an overly cheery voice. "HOW ARE YOU TODAY?"
He would then sit down at the table, with the day reset and everything right in his world.
|My sunny boy|
But then I thought, why not? Isn't that something we would all like to do, when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed or when everything is going wrong and we'd just like to rewind a bit and start over again? Don't we all want the slate wiped clean? Don't we all want the grace of a second chance?
I learned to respect his restarting of his day and to embrace it. My openmouthed confusion instead became a joyful re-greeting that restarted my day as well.
"Good Morning, Chris! I am so glad to see you this morning! How did you sleep?"
We would smile broad smiles at each other.