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Friday, March 14, 2008

Immature? Fine By Me!

Kate came home a couple of days ago
and told me that she found out why her best friend
had been so snarky with her lately.

I had asked her about it earlier in the week
because I had noticed some tension between them
and her friend commenting on Kate's
"being so immature" a couple of times
in a fairly snide tone.

Girls can be like this sometimes, mine included I'm sure,
so like I said, I commented on it and let it go.

Anyway, back to the story...
she tells me that her friend (whom we'll call friend A) had been being snarky
because their mutual friend (friend B) had decided that Kate is "immature"
and was deciding if she still wanted to be her friend or not.

So Friend A is caught in the middle and feels torn
and is subsequently snarky.
Friend A tells Kate this mid-way through last week
and has decided to maintain her friendship with Kate.

I have no idea what Friend B has decided.
This is the same Friend B who doesn't eat mammal.

I had a talk with Kate about
the quantity of friends mattering less than the quality;
that you never compromise who you are to be someone's friend;
that someone who asks you to be someone you aren't isn't a friend you can trust.

She seemed to get it.
I hope so, anyway.

Long story short, fast forward to today:
Kate has a friend over after school to play.
We'll call her (wait for it, wait for it...) Friend C!

Kate and Friend C had a freaking blast.
They jumped on the trampoline,
did each other's makeup,
dressed up in silly costumes,
played on the piano and took pictures on the Mac.

In short, they were two girls, both at or near 13,

NOT acting like high schoolers
or trying to be more than they are.

They were kids, having kid fun.
Uninhibited, laughing girl fun.

This is how it should be.
These girls, friend A, B and C,
should still be able to be children.

Life is going to come crashing in soon enough.
Pressures will be strong in a year and a half
when they start high school-

dating pressures,
academic pressures,
preparing for college and all of that stuff.

If that makes my daughter immature,
not being ready for all that pressure,
than by god, I am doing something seriously right.


Lori - The Simple Life at Home said...

Amen, sister!!!

This is what has happened time and again to Em. Some of her friends feel the need to suddenly act all grown up and cool. She is most definitely who she is and will not bow to pressure to be anything else. I'm really proud of her for that. So she has her friends who are just as, um, 12-13 year old girlish, and those are the ones who she really bonds with. I get so sad when I see a girl her age acting like a 17 year old. You are right - there is time enough for all that pressure.

nicrogers said...

I totally agree with you Leeann! Let them be kids for as long as possible. I just had an eh-hem,,,slight altercation with the entire Jr. High PSO because of their proposed...wait for it....8th grade PROM! Yes my friend, these idiots think that the 8th grade class needs a formal dance. What the hell are they thinking? Well, they think that 8th graders need to practice formals since they are going to have them in the 9th grade. Whatever. They are IDIOTS! I wrote to the PSO, I wrote to the SUPERINTENDENT. lol Lets just say, I am sure there are a lot of PSO board members that are mad at me right about now. But I found that I have a lot of support. Why on earth they want these kids to grow up so fast is beyond me. It is simply stupid.

Kathy in WA said...

I am with you! It's hard watching these girls of ours deal with relationship issues. It's often very tender in my own heart as I've had difficult girl - friend stuff as well.

I'm so glad Friend C turned out to be fun! Sounds like they had a great time. :)