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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Another Last First

My last baby lost his first tooth last night.

For him and for me,
it was a whirlwind of excitement...
the first lost tooth!
the first visit from the tooth fairy!
who is she? how does she get my tooth?
how much will she leave for me?

All the thrill and wonder and excitement
was palpable in his body and voice.

Yet, for me,
this wonderful moment was tinged
with a powerful wash of sadness...
For me, it was another last first.

The last time a child of mine will lose his first tooth.

Each of Trey's lasts have been this way for me,
and I suspect other moms feel the same.

I was loathe to stop nursing him-
knowing never again would I feel the invincible power
and pride of sustaining another with my body
and the breathtaking tenderness of a child drifting off to sleep
in utter contentment and trust.

How I hated to stop rocking him at night.
I rocked him until he was three years old...
at that point he was probably doing it for me!

I carried him much longer than I carried the others,
cuddled him more,
had more patience for the tantrums
and annoying stages.
I knew they were stages, they would pass
and then they would forever be gone from my life.

A long list of last firsts
has come and gone now that my baby is six-
no more cribs, diapers, preschool.
No more first days of kindergarten.

There is much to be celebrated in all of his accomplishments
and God willing, I will never want to hold him back
from being the very best MAN he can be

but my heart will always break just a little
over each of these last firsts.


Natalie said...

Oh, so sweet! My heart is breaking because I suspect this will be the year that Declan questions things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy. He commented on how the Tooth Fairy leaves his cousin more than she leaves at our house! So the last time I put his $1 for a tooth under his pillow I discovered a note: "Dear Tooth Fairy, Here is my tooth. Please leave me $13. Declan"

It was sweet. But I still just left a dollar! I can't afford $13 a tooth!

Anonymous said...

AWWWW, this may be the last "first" for me too if Richard and Michelle don't have any babies! So sweet! What happened to his forehead? Is this from T-ball?
Hope the tooth fairy left him money that he can enjoy. He's growing up so fast! I remember wishing I could put a book on your head and keep you little. But you needed to grow up too--I guess we both did.I know it's hard, but you have grandchildren to look forward to! They're fantastic!!

Jody said...

Awww. Yes those lasts are so very hard on us mommies.

I am with you! Mia is turning 4 hthis week, and I cannot for the life of me figure out where the time went!

Richard Lewis said...

You'll always have the memories, kiddo. And now you've got them recorded in your blog, too.

dkuroiwa said...

That is really so very sweet!! And really...what happened to that baby's forehead? Did he take a dive somewhere with no water!??!

It's so funny about the tooth fairy and Santa and even the Easter I am the only foreigner in this part of town and Issei is the only bi-cultural kid, there is no one to argue that these particular "people" don't actually, even though he is 10, he still believes!!! I think it's great!!!
And here, a tooth that comes out naturally is about $3...the one that the dentist had to take out was $5!!! (it was pretty painful to watch...Mommy got a Corona!!)