Real life from the crack of dawn....
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Another Last First
My last baby lost his first tooth last night.
For him and for me, it was a whirlwind of excitement... the first lost tooth! the first visit from the tooth fairy! who is she? how does she get my tooth? how much will she leave for me?
All the thrill and wonder and excitement was palpable in his body and voice.
Yet, for me, this wonderful moment was tinged with a powerful wash of sadness... For me, it was another last first.
The last time a child of mine will lose his first tooth.
Each of Trey's lasts have been this way for me, and I suspect other moms feel the same.
I was loathe to stop nursing him- knowing never again would I feel the invincible power and pride of sustaining another with my body and the breathtaking tenderness of a child drifting off to sleep in utter contentment and trust.
How I hated to stop rocking him at night. I rocked him until he was three years old... at that point he was probably doing it for me!
I carried him much longer than I carried the others, cuddled him more, had more patience for the tantrums and annoying stages. I knew they were stages, they would pass and then they would forever be gone from my life.
A long list of last firsts has come and gone now that my baby is six- no more cribs, diapers, preschool. No more first days of kindergarten.
There is much to be celebrated in all of his accomplishments and God willing, I will never want to hold him back from being the very best MAN he can be
but my heart will always break just a little over each of these last firsts.