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Thursday, August 9, 2007

Reading Minds

So, here I sit,
feeling frustrated with myself.

I have been super busy
over the last couple of days
and feeling stretched very thin
with all the kids home
and traveling with them
and trying desperately to keep up
with the house and the constant mess.

So, what do I do?

I grow increasingly frustrated
that no one is appreciating ME

no one is noticing all that *I* do

I don't get no respect

Yada, yada, yada.

And then,
after stewing over this
for a couple of days,
muttering to myself
little self pitying, vindictive comments

I wait until after 11 PM
and then start yelling at my husband.

God, I hate it when I act like that.

I wait and I stew and I expect him
to know everything that I am thinking and feeling.

When he does nothing

(because he doesn't have a clue,
because I haven't said a damn thing about it)

I finally explode in a self righteous
volcanic eruption.

Oh yeah, Good job.

It is not that my complaints and feelings
don't have merit.

But there is surely a more mature way
to go about it than that.

Shame on me.


Melissa said...

Don't be so hard on yourself, Leeann. We all do it. I feel sometimes like I'm having an out-of-body experience and saying, "who is this crazy woman yelling?" as I'm looking down on myself having a "freak-out" (as my kids would say).

Lanny said...

Been there, done that. I explode when my husband falls alseep while I'm running around like a mad woman trying to get the house presentable for the next day. My life would be much nicer with your margarita maker. I'm jealous!

Splaneyo said...

Well, I am shocked! I would have started much earlier in the evening.
Seriously, I think it is part of being female. I have those eruptions periodically as well. I might, however, show my husband this post so he can see that I am not the only volcano around. I hope that you are feeling better today and you really should not be so hard on yourself.

The other me said...

Add me to the 'I do that' club! Feel bad every time and then go and do it again the next time I keep it all in for days!