If I could step away from myself, like a child trying to escape its shadow, I would.
Whether it's the weather, which has been gray and cold, getting our hopes up with a few random flakes but then fizzling out
or that time of the month when everyone and everything is too much to process
or just me
I don't know.
I was driving along today, gloriously alone
(having driven everyone away, I presume)
and thinking about motherhood.
The pressure to do it all and look like you are doing it well.
The pressure to make your kids look happy enough
so that people believe part A.
The pressure to look like you are enjoying it all, all the time, lest someone sic social services on you because you look like you might eat your young.
Let's face it, parenting in general and motherhood in particular, is not all fun and games.
Sometimes it feels like the last hours of exam week, when you haven't had any sleep and you want nothing more than to find a hole somewhere and sleep for the next 48 hours.
You're hungry, you're tired and you are just plain depleted.
If you are lucky, then you marry someone who is the Ying to your Yang.
Up when you're down.
Encouraging when you are flagging.
The See to your Saw, so to speak.
Well, our See Saw done broke.
Rob and I have spent the weekend playing Hot Potato with our kids, tossing them back and forth in an effort to not be caught with the group when the music stops.
(oh my god, I just read that, I can't believe how awful it sounds!)
I think they are none the worse for wear.
We did some things together and tried to also give each other a break.
We went ice skating, I took the kids to the bookstore, Rob took them out to ChickFilA.
Hopefully, I can pull up my big girl panties (I think the elastic on this pair is just plain overstretched!) and get a grip going into this week.
I wish you a great week as well.
Oh, and PS-
If you are a reader, or a lurker, post a comment or send me an email so I know you are out there!
Dreaming of Sunnier Days