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Friday, November 7, 2008

Motherly Guilt

As many of you know,
not only do I enjoy blogging
but I am also an avid reader of blogs.

My list grows and occasionally changes
as I follow the lives of people who begin as strangers
and over time, become distant friends.

Some bloggers I have known first as friends.
One (albeit part-time) blogger is family.

I have seen a theme in several of the blogs I read this week
and that is the theme of Guilt.

Specifically, MOTHER GUILT.

"Worst Mother of the Year"
"I feel like the worst mother in the world."
"...then I went to bed and dreamed about what a terrible mother I am."

As I read these
and as my heart went out to each of these women,
I wondered:
Do men feel this same level of guilt?

If not, why?

Is it because they don't see their level of responsibility as the same?
Is it because they see the day to day trials and tribulations as less critical than the greater picture?
Do they just not care as much?

I think we as women (myself included)
are far too hard on ourselves as mothers, wives and daughters.
I don't believe I have ever met a woman who feels she is all she can be in any of these roles.
I'm not even sure I have met someone who thinks she is even Good Enough.

I wish, as a group,
that we could find a way to look upon our roles
with forgiveness and grace.
To realize that we are far more forgiving of others than ourselves
and to understand that those around us,
most especially our children,
are far more resilient than we think.

I believe Love and Grace win
over the flaws of being human
and being a Mother.

Be forgiving of yourself.

1 comment:

Cindi said...

My sons are now 18 and 21, and I still go through some guilt, although not as much as I used to. I guess we just want to always make sure that we did all we could possibly do for our children.

Since male hormones are different than female hormones, maybe that's where the difference in the level of guilt lies? I don't know, but I have a feeling I'll never feel guilt free about how our kids were raised.